On to the reviews.
Twilight Saga: New Moon
Here’s the thing. First of all, I might not be the target audience for this movie. This movie is for screaming, bellowing teenage pubescent girls, and adults that are easily swept away by unadulterated cheesy “pickup” lines. No problem, that’s their thing. I’m pretty sure if reviewed by a hardcore fan (most likely a female), this movie would more likely receive rave reviews, with flying colors. That being said, I’m reviewing this as an ‘outsider’ if you would, a film enthusiast, scouring the industry with great movies. This however was not.The movie’s pace moved like it was trying to figure out what to do next while continuing to move through a senseless plot, but on the other end it seemed to move too fast as the story jumped all over the place. Basically, the plot was a boring mess. Fans would love this, I’m sure. They probably wouldn’t even care if it was too far from the book, but then again, movie fans are different from the avid book reader. To people who would consider watching this film without knowing just a little about the series, they’d be lost in the middle of all the teenage adolescent angst, wolf transforming bodybuilders, and shining emotive metrosexual vampires. Because if a paper cut, bike riding adrenaline junkie shit and a silly phone call does not sum up this film, I don’t know what would.
However, the acting couldn’t be all that worse. After all, they only had to take their shirts off. Watching through the whole film felt like it was bordering to turn into a half-assed pseudo porn flick. It seemed to feed off the craze of its stars rather than concentrating on the actual talent that they have. Leaving us innocent viewers suffer through more than 30 minutes of shirtless bonanza, yay! But again, the performance was not all that bad. Most people would probably see Kristen Stewart’s portrayal of Bella Swan quite dull and lost. I believe the dullness and awkwardness seemed charming, especially for a well written character like Bella. Stephanie Meyer created one of the most unique personas in literature and Kristen hit the character right on the mark. That was what saddened me most about this movie; they have an unbelievable set of talent but would rather feed off the ‘hot bod’ in-thing and leave the movie’s success to that. Retarded.
Don’t get me wrong though. Twilight was tolerable. I did enjoy the first movie quite a bit. The scenery was well captured by director Catherine. This one however went too overboard. Clearly showing that bigger budget, better effects does not make a great movie. So, do I recommend this?? If you’re a fan drooling over buffed up bodies and palpitating veins then go ahead, knock yourself out. However, this would go down as one of the most shallow vampire flicks in history and I’m not talking about those screaming emo girls. 2/5.
Paranormal Activity
Let me start off by saying, “Yes. I believe the hype.”Long before this movie was widely released, much hype and anxiety came along with it. The smart promotion strategy came with the release of the movie’s trailer, where instead of showing a lot of parts from the movie, they showed the audience’s crazed and delirious reaction at the movie’s first private screening. The result, I highly anticipated mockumentary film that received so much rave, it was said to be the scariest horror film since “The Blair Witch Project”, a movie that scared hundreds people off their seats almost a decade ago. So, should you believe the hype? Or, is it another trailer trash budget film that isn’t worth your money?
Well, you should. Paranormal Activity will scare the shit out of you. Sure, it’s not as good as the ever so epic Cloverfield, but the movie lived up to the standards of its genre and exceeded far more than what people expected. Now, for people who don’t know what a ‘mockumentary’ is, it is a film taken and shot a-la-documentary style, but everything about it is scripted, thus the ‘mock’ (duh…). The documentary feel gives a subtle illusion of reality, making it seem that the film was actually ‘inspired by a true story’. This quickly became both an advantage and a disadvantage for the film. People came with a high expectancy without little knowledge of what a mockumentary is, or not even knowing it was one in the first place. Leaving them bored and saying, "wtf was that?". However, the film’s shots were what every mockumentary should be clear and simple but very effective. They gave a feeling of vulnerability as if you’re almost the one stuck in the midst of all the suspense. Peli's movie put a blindfold over our eyes and pushed us into that 'horror house' we didn't even dream of going into. Every part of this movie was a suspense fest, not ever knowing what was coming. Who needs cutting-edge graphics and a whopping Hollywood budget, this shit is for real.
The acting though, well like how we cut some slack to the Blair Witch cast (and perhaps Cloverfield as well) maybe we could say the same for this cast. At least? Ok, this is not me being nice, or because I just love the film too much. The acting was as mediocre as it could get, but it somehow fit so well into the film, perhaps like how Ozzy’s terrible vocals always worked for Black Sabbath (eh?). Seriously though, this is little complaint for a film that lived up to that much hype. The thing about this is people come to expect too much, and some people come just to shoot it down, because of the rave it has received. That’s their problem not mine. Although, this will not go down as one of the best, 'classic'-potential horror films but for a film budgeted at around $15,000 and rake in more than $100 million dollars, tell me, can you argue with that? Recommended? Hell yes! You're in for a thrill ride. ‘Nuff said. 4/5.
i hate twilight. i hate paranormal activity less than twilight. but that's just me. i dont hate movies. i just want movietime to be good time... coffee!
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